Remember this post from a couple of weeks ago where I explored different facets of happiness?? I am desperately trying to channel that energy right now, when I'm staring down a rut.
I don't think it's homesickness or culture shock affecting me this week, but more a combination of stress and frustration and disappointment. It's been a tough couple weeks at work. I've come home and gone to bed at 7:30 almost every night this week, which is, even for me, early. I've had to convince myself to get out of bed every morning and promise myself that I could always go home if I absolutely had to. I haven't needed to, of course, but I had to give myself the option.
This weekend, I have had a number of really great social opportunities with friends I could have joined in on, but I just couldn't motivate myself. Even for diving. For the beach. For dinners out. I'm fully cognizant that I'm making things worse by being a homebody, but it just seems like I need to be grouchy and moody on my own right now.
In retrospect, ten months before my first R&R at a hardship/danger post was probably not great planning. True, there were a lot of external factors that contributed to the timing, but I think for my next R&R I'm going to try to plan it squarely in the middle of the year. Little weekend trips helped a lot, but it is too long a stretch between breaks.
I have been looking at flights for a short weekend away, but, unfortunately, many of the closer destinations come complete with travel warnings these days, which just won't work. And places without travel warnings are overbooked because everyone is trying to get to the same few places.
So, about six weeks until R&R. I can make it.
And I promise, I'll stop moping now. Sometimes you just need to vent, though.
Update: I actually did go and have a relaxing poolside dinner and game night with some friends. I wasn't great company, but it helped improve my mood a bit.
I don't think it's homesickness or culture shock affecting me this week, but more a combination of stress and frustration and disappointment. It's been a tough couple weeks at work. I've come home and gone to bed at 7:30 almost every night this week, which is, even for me, early. I've had to convince myself to get out of bed every morning and promise myself that I could always go home if I absolutely had to. I haven't needed to, of course, but I had to give myself the option.
This weekend, I have had a number of really great social opportunities with friends I could have joined in on, but I just couldn't motivate myself. Even for diving. For the beach. For dinners out. I'm fully cognizant that I'm making things worse by being a homebody, but it just seems like I need to be grouchy and moody on my own right now.
In retrospect, ten months before my first R&R at a hardship/danger post was probably not great planning. True, there were a lot of external factors that contributed to the timing, but I think for my next R&R I'm going to try to plan it squarely in the middle of the year. Little weekend trips helped a lot, but it is too long a stretch between breaks.
I have been looking at flights for a short weekend away, but, unfortunately, many of the closer destinations come complete with travel warnings these days, which just won't work. And places without travel warnings are overbooked because everyone is trying to get to the same few places.
So, about six weeks until R&R. I can make it.
And I promise, I'll stop moping now. Sometimes you just need to vent, though.
Update: I actually did go and have a relaxing poolside dinner and game night with some friends. I wasn't great company, but it helped improve my mood a bit.
6 comments:
Glad you got out and hope things look up a bit...that sort of thing just happens and here's hoping the time flies until your R&R!
Oops, clearly forgot to sign into my own account for the above message...!
I really liked this post. Real feelings and frustrations that come with this kind of posting. You are awesome. Hang in there. It can be pretty hard to keep going sometimes. Hopefully R&R comes really soon. Thinking of you!
Thanks ladies! I appreciate the support.
I hope you feel better soon. Good you came to the poolside dinner, you're good company.
oh, I dunno.. I think sometimes you just have to let yourself have a good mope. Seclude yourself, read, watch tv, talk to noone but the cats, be anti-social, and not feel guilty about it (that's the tricky bit). There's something to be said for just getting it out of your system :) Hope the time until your R&R flies by!
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