Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Week Later

It's a week later, and I am still missing Hattie terribly.  I look at her pictures every day and try not to well up with tears.  Sometimes I succeed.  Today I finally unpacked the several boxes of bedding, food, toys, and paraphernalia I shipped ahead to myself to have soon after arrival.  I am keeping everything; it's in a closet now, but I don't want it all to go to waste, whether I use it or donate it.  I'm supported by the strength of my community, both here in Jeddah and throughout the world.  Every day really does get a little bit easier.  I still haven't been able to recount fully in writing what happened, because it's too heartbreaking.  It was pure negligence and never should have happened.  But, I can't change the past, so I have to keep moving forward.  And I do.  People have been kindly suggesting sources for cats and dogs to adopt, and I'm sure I will end up with one or the other soon.  Cats are easy, because all you have to do is open your door to find one in need of a home.  I met an adorable dog tonight, a Tibetan terrier, and his breeder is local.  And I've heard of local rescue groups and individuals.  So there are possibilities.  The hardest thing is getting used to a routine without a dog.  I don't have to take her out first thing in the morning or when I get home from work or before bedtime.  I can leave food on the coffee table while I run to get something in the other room without fearing it will be discovered and re-appropriated in my short absence.  But I truly miss those things.  I miss having her at my feet while I am on the computer.  Most of all I miss the companionship and having her by my side all day and all night.  Each day is a new day, and her memory will forever live on. 


Erin said...

I'm still so sad for you, Sadie, but encouraged to hear every day gets easier. I'm certain a loving, needful dog and/or cat will choose you when the time is right. In the meantime, grieve, love and keep Hattie's memory alive and your heart open.
Love to you,

Connie said...

We lost both of our elderly cats to illness as we packed up to PCS. All of their toys ended up in shipment before they died. We spent the summer missing our kitties very much, and by the time we moved to our new home, the kids had obtained little statues representing our cats to remember them, but were also starting to talk of new pets to love... then we found kittens in the garden :) Yes, they needed a home, and they found one with us. It was tough when our HHE arrived and I unpacked Misty and Ramses' toys... but it is wonderful to see our new cats enjoying them. There are a couple of stuffed toys that obviously have the scent of our former cats, and these new kids particularly love them. I like that. One day, when you're ready, I hope you find a new canine or feline companion, but I can tell that you will always keep Hattie in your heart. She was blessed to have you :)