Good Genes

Happy Mother's Day!! (only a few days late...)

As always, some of my most inspired blog posts come while I'm procrastinating. Tonight I'm writing in order to put off my cardio session a wee bit longer.  It's been a long week, and the couch sounds oh so much more inviting right now.

I just passed the nine month mark in Saudi - a full human gestation period! And, of course, the accompanying sadness that comes with each month's mark is present. Perhaps fittingly, I came across a reference to Hattie in a very unexpected place today. The reference answered a few of my questions and raised a few more. They'll never all be answered, and justice will never be truly achieved. It's part of the horror that surrounds her untimely death. But I don't want to spend any more energy writing about it right now.

So on to happier topics, somewhat related to human gestation periods...

In honor of Mother's Day, I want to write a post honoring the women who have guided and nurtured me my entire life. To begin, I was named for a maternal great-grandmother, who unfortunately passed away before I was born. My middle name is a slightly altered spelling of my mother's middle name. I've always loved these connections.

My maternal grandmother turns 91 next month. She has numerous children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and, now, a great-great-grandson. Last summer all of the children and most of the grandchildren and great-grandkids all got together for a wonderful 90th birthday party. It was a fitting tribute and a wonderful time. And she even laughed at my wholly-inappropriate gag gift :-). Grandma is still going strong at almost 91, building phenomenal gardens and keeping up with the adventures of her many progeny. I love that I can always connect with her via email even when I'm thousands of miles away.

I was born the year following my grandfather's death, and Grandma had just moved from Indiana to live with my parents in NH. We were close from the start. I have a wonderful picture of me as a toddler playing in the sandbox with Grandma. She tells hilarious stories about the games we used to play. We've stayed close all my life, and she's been there for all the milestones.

Grandma decided to go back to school late in life, graduating with a BA when she was 69.  It's not every seven year-old who can attend their grandmother's college graduation! Fittingly, I also have pictures with her at my own college graduation. In a move that I'm sure somehow influenced my own wanderlust, Grandma spent a semester studying abroad in Greece. I must have been extremely young, but I remember when she came back and opened her suitcase of treasures. I have a habit of doing the same thing, and I'm sure there's a link.

There's more to tell than could possibly fit here, but these are among the first things that come to mind when I think about the amazing woman who is my Grandmother. Can't wait to see her next month!

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddddd an hour later...

(Is it completely sad when I procrastinate from my procrastination by actually doing what I was avoiding doing instead of doing the avoidance activity? Oh well. At least I got my cardio in.)

And now a few words about my mother. This is hard, because no amount of words could do justice. My mother has been there for me every step of the way. More importantly, she has consistently supported me in all my choices. Even if they weren't the best choices. But she let me make mistakes and learn and make better decisions the next time around. As an adult, my mother is my best friend, one of the first people I go to with happy news or sad news. She lets me vent about work or life or whatever and expects me to do the same. She's always up for an adventure, whether it be a relatively spontaneous trip to Texas just to see a concert or a planned- and saved-for three week sojourn in South Africa. She even agreed to visit me in Saudi Arabia. I'm not sure it'll work out to get her here before I leave, but it's the thought that counts.

Mom worked full time when we were young, while my Dad worked from home and was there during the day with my brothers and me. I think that role reversal was a powerful influence on me. While she may regret long hours and not always being at home with us kids, she taught me that it's possible to have a family and a career and work-life balance, and for that I am very grateful. I hope to be able to do the same someday with my children.

Mom and I have a similar sense of humor and enjoy passing funny internet videos or pictures between ourselves. But we both strongly believe that sending out chain letters or the like to large groups of people should be reserved for only the truly funniest items. (The same cannot be said for everyone in our address books.)

My mother also indulges my over-protective and worrying tendencies as long as I let her do the same. So when she and my father go on a road trip, she always checks in after safely arriving. Mostly because she knows I'll email or call incessantly if she fails to do so. Just ask what happened when they once unexpectedly stopped at Gettysburg for a few hours on the way back to NH from DC... I hadn't quite stooped to calling hospitals and the police, but it was close. This expectation stands when I'm 6,000 miles away too. I try to reciprocate whenever possible. Perhaps that's the best feature of my work Blackberry - the ability to check in from Sri Lanka when I'm having a computer-free getaway. (And to be fair, if my parents had added cell phones in their arsenal of portable electronics, the whole Gettysburg debacle could have been avoided...)




There's really nothing like sitting at the kitchen counter at home, watching my mom cook something wonderful, chatting about everything and nothing, and hampering her efforts by stealing cheese or cookie dough or walnuts or whatever when her back is turned. Even scarred knuckles from raps by wooden spoons aren't a deterrence. It's a timeless shared experience. One I'm excited to repeat in a few short weeks.

In addition, I have a whole collection of amazing aunts, cousins, and other important women in my life who I won't embarrass here. We're spread around the world and have all taken very different life paths, but boy is it fun to get together with them! So in honor of all of these amazing women, and all the women in your own lives, Happy Mother's Day!

How Long Has It Been?

Fellow graduates of my alma mater should now break out singing the fight song...


It's been way too long since I wrote a blog post. I started writing one a few times, but fell asleep or got distracted before I made any headway. I'm going on day 11 of 12 straight days of work with mucho visitors to control, plus I started a new project in my free time that's time-consuming (but oh so worth it), so I'm busier than usual. If any of you have been reading the news lately, you'll also know that there are some current events keeping us hopping (a topic for another post). What a week!

Twenty-three days until R&R. If they manage to buy my ticket in time. Still one approval away, even though it's been in the system more than two months.

My office is short-staffed these days, and we're busier than ever, which means longer days and nights and weeks and less primping of hair and eating chocolate around the water cooler. (Actually, since today we ladies in the office spent a few minutes primping our hair at the beginning of the day with an exciting new product, MORE hair primping. But it was the first time we've ever actually done that, so I think we're entitled. And when a colleague commented on my hair in a meeting later, one of my office mates and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Giddiness, or perhaps lack-of-sleep-induced insanity. Either way.) Anyway, we're busy. And tired. And giddy. I do have to admit that we almost always have chocolate near the water cooler, but it's the go-to office gift whenever someone travels, and someone is always traveling.

In honor of Mother's Day, I should write a post about the amazing women in my life. And I will. Just not tonight. Sorry Mom, Grandma, and assorted aunts and cousins. I did manage to get it together in time to send my mom flowers at work last Friday; her present will fly home with me next month. (And I promise I haven't cheaped out and won't declare myself said present.)

So there you have it - the most boring and rambling excuse post ever. I hope to have a full weekend off starting Thursday, and many tasks on my to-do list, so hopefully a more detailed blog post is among them.


One other thing - have you registered to take the Foreign Service Officer Test next month?? If not, hop on over to careers.state.gov and get to it! We're offering it at many overseas posts, including mine, so now's the time. It's free, it's computer-based, it's three hours of your life - what do you have to lose??

And with that, and another egregious fight song reference (lie down forever, lie down), it's time for bed!

Here Comes the Princess Bride, and Other Royal Musings

Sarah at Verdant Voyages is hosting this week's RoundUp, celebrating tomorrow's Royal Wedding. Which really doesn't need to be capitalized, except maybe it does. At least in the eyes of CNN and various other obsessed news outlets. And I will proudly admit loudly that I am obsessing right along with them. Well maybe not obsessing but watching with curiosity and interest.

I find royalty and monarchies fascinating, especially the modern-day incarnations. And the royal family I grew up watching was the Windsors. Prince William and I are only a couple weeks apart in age (he's older), and Princess Diana was all the rage when I was growing up. I remember clearly the day she died and being glued to the news in the days and weeks afterward. I remember my youngest brother, about 7 years old at the time, asking worriedly, "was she the Princess of all the whales?" A completely innocent and easy mistake to make when you're 7.

And I've liked Kate ever since she came onto the scene. I wish the couple all the happiness in the world as they embark on this journey together. And I'm pretty excited that I'm in a close enough time zone and have a weekend day tomorrow to watch the spectacle unfold. I ordered pizza tonight (for the first time since getting here) so I can veg out tomorrow and not have to cook.

My experience with royalty as an adult has been much different than the way I would have envisioned it growing up. I lived for a time in Thailand, where a benevolent monarchy is headed by the world's longest-ruling King. I never met any members of the royal family, though their pictures graced most buildings (and the currency).

Now I live in another kingdom, headed by a large family after whom the country is named. People estimate there are about 10,000 al-Sauds today, including a number of sons and daughters of the original King Abdulaziz. The current King, Abdullah, is flanked by several of his brothers and sons and nephews for top cabinet spots, but he and his cohort are octogenarians and ailing. There's constant chatter about succession here. King Abdullah's sister, Princess Sita, died a few weeks ago, and the country mourned.

I've never met any of the ruling generation of al-Sauds, but I've met many of the next generations, including sons/daughters of previous kings. Direct descendants of King Abdulaziz are referred to as His/Her Royal Highness (HRH), while more distant relatives are His/Her Highness (HH). And yes, it does take some getting used to to greet someone with, "A pleasure to meet you Your Royal Highness So-and-So." Since Saudi names include the names of one's father and, usually, grandfather, it makes it easy to instantly determine whether someone is a royal and an HRH.

The love Saudis have for their king is really something to see. King Abdullah, who has been king since 2005 but was effectively ruling during the last year's of his late brother Fahd's reign. I thank King Abdullah daily for his commitment to education, which makes my job sending Saudi students to the U.S. to study much easier. The number of universities has skyrocketed in the last decade, as has the number of students. And it's easier than ever, financially, for Saudi students to earn degrees in the United States. Many, many of my conversations with people here include a conversation about our alma maters. I love touring schools and seeing the King's commitment play out in real time. It's really amazing. He's a relative reformer and is committed to interfaith dialogue and improving the country's infrastructure.

When King Abdullah was in the U.S. for medical treatment earlier this year, the media reported daily on his health and progress. His return to the Kingdom in February was a sight to behold. I have never seen anything quite like it. A massive clean-up took place, especially in the major streets. Saudi flags lined the streets, hung from every telephone and light pole. Banners, posters, billboards, and signs bearing the King's likeness and well-wishes were plastered everywhere, from restaurant and mall windows to car windows to trees to fences and everything in between. His homecoming merited a public holiday in the Kingdom and was accompanied by a grand speech and announcement of a number of new public benefits. In the midst of the so-called Arab Spring, and even when nascent protests and dissent movements were popping up around the county, King Abdullah's return was, at least outwardly, a full display of nationalism and celebration. I think my favorite banner, which came shortly after the King's return, was a building-sized one hung from an under-construction restaurant. King Abdullah's face featured prominently, and the main text effectively said "No to chaos." On the eve of the King's return, the city's busy streets were filled with shabab (youth) packed into cars and proudly waving flags and wearing all manner of green and shouting and singing. In the foolhardy way youth will display their affections, there were teenagers hanging out of (moving) car windows and sunroofs with flags and green-painted faces. I even saw a rollerblader who was trailing behind a car, holding on to a rope attached to the car. The public pulse was certainly celebratory.

The flags are gone, most of the banners have been taken down, the King is ensconced in Riyadh, and life is mostly back to normal. But for a few weeks, I saw what it would be like to grow up in a monarchy. Even when there's discontent afoot, your king is your king, and you love him. (And while I know it's foolish to generalize and stereotype, I am merely reporting what I saw and heard in very public spheres, which may not be entirely representative.)

And so, tomorrow, I will watch the Royal Wedding. For there will never be another Diana, Princess of W(h)ales, but Princess Catherine represents the new generation, and the world's eyes are on her. Best of luck.

Love and Butterflies

And now for a slightly different post... (written yesterday, but held until I could get the principals to clear on it - a sign I've been working for DoS too long, perhaps?)


When I know good/exciting news, it's very hard for me not to share it with people. Even if it doesn't concern me, I get super excited for people. Pregnancies, births, engagements, marriages, new jobs, new moves, you name it. I love celebrating these milestones. But, it's not always my news to share. The good thing about having friends all over the world is that I can usually find someone completely and totally removed from the situation to share the news with. With the internet, it's so easy to spoil surprises, so I have to be extra careful.

So when I found out more than a week ago that my brother was proposing to his girlfriend yesterday, it was all I could do to keep quiet. So I told my coworkers, who were highly unlikely to speak to J and ruin the surprise. When I saw her Facebook status on Friday night saying she was sick, I was petrified I might have to keep the secret a bit longer. But Z managed to get her to go along with his plan yesterday. I don't know all the details yet, and it's their story to share, but I know it happened at their favorite place - a butterfly sanctuary. I know he had the employees in on it, ready with cameras to capture the moment and butterflies to release at the pivotal time. And I know she said yes!

I was incredibly antsy last night as I stalked Facebook for any sign that it had happened. I was (and am) fighting a GI bug, so every time I got up, I checked online. Finally Z's best friend congratulated him. So I messaged him, not wanting to jump the gun. I wrote, "is it official?" It was an agonizing 30 minutes before he wrote back, "yup!" I immediately called them and talked to both of them and congratulated them. It was so great to hear Z so happy and J so incredibly surprised and shocked and excited. Knowing my tendency to jump the gun, Z cautioned me to wait until they told her mom before saying anything online. Oh well.

Growing up, Z and I did not have a great relationship. (Mom, I know, understatement of the year.) It wasn't until we both were entering adulthood, and particularly when he became a father, that we redefined our relationship. Watching him become an amazing father and both of us falling so in love with his children gave us the foundation we needed to move forward.

A couple of years ago, he met J. Her daughter brought them together initially; it's a very cute story I won't go into here. They were inseparable from the start and never looked back. I think he knew early on he wanted to marry her. But he also knew that combining families was tough, and they both did a great job of making things work for them and their children. It doesn't hurt that the children adore each other and both Z&J.

And our family adores J and her daughter, and same for her family with Z and company. And the families get along with each other, too! It really doesn't get much better than that.

So, I am so excited today to be able to officially welcome my new sister-in-law and niece into our family, even though they've been a part of our lives and hearts for a long time now. It's a very happy Easter for all of us!

Seasonable Highs Deserve Seasonable Sighs

It's beginning to feel a lot like summer... in Saudi Arabia.

Ick.

I am well aware that it will get much, much hotter. I have not forgotten what August in Jeddah feels like. By any stretch of the imagination. But, I was really enjoying winter in Jeddah. And now it seems it's slipped away, to be replaced by many, many months of scorching heat and soaring humidity. With only the occasional sea breeze to make it tolerable.

Every time I exit a building, I am met with a wall of heat. Suffocating, oppressive heat. I am in love with air conditioning. (And so, so not in love with the air conditioner in my bedroom breaking in the middle of the night. Two nights in a row.)

If I have to hear either of the following phrases one more time, I may just crack.
"This is nothing! Just wait till summer!"
"Oh, stop complaining. It's only 105F with 85% humidity."

It makes me long for Miami in June. Which I will experience. In June. (I do, however, reserve the right to complain about the rain, hurricane, or oppressive heat that I may well find in Miami in June.)

My bidding strategy is starting to include such phrases as "no desert" and "high altitude preferred". Suggestions for temperate tropical destinations with plenty of Consular jobs, affordable help, and high differential welcomed. (Though they're likely already on my short list!)

In other news, this week's entertainment quotient went up exponentially thanks to a joke (I hope?!) making its way through the Department these days. If the words/phrases "unicorn," "fauna-centric," and "kittens waving American flags" mean nothing to you, ask someone in your office/post. I can guarantee someone will have caught on. Great morale-booster right there.

And with that, it's time for bed. Because even though this week was better than last, I still desperately need this weekend.

(unicorn)

(easter egg)

Much Better, Thanks!

I am, once again, comforted and humbled by the outpouring of support offered by the FS blogger community. My last post was a total Debbie Downer, and I questioned why I even posted it. But words of support and understanding from around the globe really helped improve my mood, and I'm thankful.

It's nine pm on a 'school night' and I'm still awake, which hasn't happened in a while. Partly it's thanks to some great naps this weekend, but it also bodes well for this week. I got some exciting news that I'll share when the time's right, which elevated my mood. And I did some thinking about the reasons I had a tough couple of weeks and have some new calming mantras to rely on. And even though I got almost nothing knocked off my to-do list (except for sewing on a couple buttons), I feel it was a useful weekend.

And with that, I'm headed to bed. It's 9:05 on a school night after all!

Sometimes I Just Can't Think of a Good Title. Especially When I'm Complaining.

Remember this post from a couple of weeks ago where I explored different facets of happiness?? I am desperately trying to channel that energy right now, when I'm staring down a rut.

I don't think it's homesickness or culture shock affecting me this week, but more a combination of stress and frustration and disappointment. It's been a tough couple weeks at work. I've come home and gone to bed at 7:30 almost every night this week, which is, even for me, early. I've had to convince myself to get out of bed every morning and promise myself that I could always go home if I absolutely had to. I haven't needed to, of course, but I had to give myself the option.

This weekend, I have had a number of really great social opportunities with friends I could have joined in on, but I just couldn't motivate myself. Even for diving. For the beach. For dinners out. I'm fully cognizant that I'm making things worse by being a homebody, but it just seems like I need to be grouchy and moody on my own right now.

In retrospect, ten months before my first R&R at a hardship/danger post was probably not great planning. True, there were a lot of external factors that contributed to the timing, but I think for my next R&R I'm going to try to plan it squarely in the middle of the year. Little weekend trips helped a lot, but it is too long a stretch between breaks.

I have been looking at flights for a short weekend away, but, unfortunately, many of the closer destinations come complete with travel warnings these days, which just won't work. And places without travel warnings are overbooked because everyone is trying to get to the same few places.

So, about six weeks until R&R. I can make it.

And I promise, I'll stop moping now. Sometimes you just need to vent, though.


Update: I actually did go and have a relaxing poolside dinner and game night with some friends. I wasn't great company, but it helped improve my mood a bit.

Waiting and Wondering

How can I possibly not blog today? I warn you in advance - I have nothing interesting or new to offer. I just need to write.

We only have a couple of days before the current continuing resolution expires and we're forced into a government shut down. Congress has not yet been able to reach consensus on a budget or a new CR, and the jury's out on whether they will. I honestly have no idea. I just know I hope they do.

Rumors are swirling everywhere. At work, among friends, in the news, online, on Facebook, on blogs, and now I think some are even developing in my mind as I wrestle with all the implications. There were more than a few water cooler conversations today. And my Facebook and Blogger newsfeeds were filled with speculation and questions and worries and shock at the potential shutdown.

I am a federal worker. I do not yet know whether my position is essential. Since it's our weekend, we will be among the first federal workers to face the reality of a shutdown on Saturday morning. I'd get to work only an hour after the expiration of the current CR. I'll be going in regardless to find out what's what. What remains to be seen is whether I stay. And whether and/or when I get paid if I stay. And same if I go.

The uncertainty is the worst part. I am not going to comment on how the potential shutdown has been and is being handled throughout the government, mostly because I have no reference point. I was in elementary school in 1996 and have no memory of the last shutdown. I don't know how it was handled. It's an insanely difficult task for anyone, and I don't envy the decision makers and contingency planners.

I am a little disappointed in those Congresspeople who think that their own families would suffer more if they didn't receive a paycheck during a shutdown than the average federal worker's. Putting aside the question of the accuracy of this line of thinking, it is dripping with irony. I'm lucky because a few days of unpaid furlough won't ruin me. It'll hurt, and things will be tight for a while, but it's not the end of the world. But if days turn into weeks... It's a scary thought.

I have no solution (except to implore Congress to pass a workable budget). I have no wisdom to share. I have no answers to the tough questions. I just have a lot of uncertainty and a lot of frustration. And a weekend of waiting and wondering. So I'm going to the grocery store in the morning. If I can't work, I might as well cook.

If You're Happy and You Know It...

I'm slowly making my way through a stack of magazines that date back to summer 2009, and I ran across one with a theme of 'happiness'. Off topic but hilarious, one of the issue's suggestions for how to be productive in five minutes was to cut your stack of magazines in half. Oh the irony! I actually used some of the other suggestions for five-minute productivity spurts this past weekend, and it did make me happy :-). But the point is that I started thinking about happiness and what it means to me. And while I tend to be a person who looks at a whole day/week/month to convey my general state of mind, the truth is that there's so much happiness in the moment to moment events.

A lot of my happiest moments revolve around animals. I love coming home to be greeted by my pets. My brother's dog even howls "herro" in his happiest welcome home moments. Not unlike the dog making the rounds on Facebook/YouTube who says "I love you." Hattie always used to greet me and dance and get all excited; she'd even skip when we'd go for the first walk of the evening. My cats run to the door and jump up and want to cuddle as soon as I walk in. At home in NH, I remember coming home on a few spring days to find one of our horses had broken out of the pasture and was grazing on the young grass on the front lawn. On my travels, my communes with elephants, penguins, cheetahs, ostriches, turtles, lions, and various other fauna rate highly on the happiness scale. But not baboons. They remain on the naughty list and have little chance of redeeming themselves.

I love that technology allows me to stay so connected to family and friends, and it's nice to be able to come home from work a couple days a week and talk to my mom, six thousand miles and seven time zones away. When my nieces and nephews are around, it's even more fun. Last night, my four year old nephew wanted to share his new cologne (long story) with me. He pressed himself up against the computer's camera and asked in a muffled voice if I could smell him now. I laughed so hard then and every time I recounted the story today.

Travel makes me happy. I think that's a given. So does dreaming about and planning my next trip. So it's a surefire way to break a bad mood - look for travel deals and plan a getaway!

On both those themes, I love reunions. The moment you see a loved one after a long time apart. The anticipation. The sheer joy and perfection of the moment. Everything else falls away. There's a light feeling. Maybe that's one of my favorite parts about traveling; it certainly isn't saying goodbyes! (This feeling is captured well in my favorite movie, Love Actually. The opening and closing airport scenes are absolutely perfect.)

Twice a week I come home to an immaculate apartment. That makes me immeasurably happy. Once a week, at least, I come home to freshly laundered sheets and a crisply made bed. That is pure bliss.

One of my quirky happy-moment-makers is that I set the alarm to go off in the early morning even when I can sleep in the next day. That way, when the alarm goes off, I can have the distinct pleasure of turning it off and realizing I can sleep as late as I want. I really enjoy doing that.

I love paying bills. Well, I love having the money and job security to be able to pay all my bills. But there's something satisfying and redeeming about hitting send on online payments.

None of these are the big-ticket items that we often think of or generalize about when we think of happiness - wealth, big house, dream vacation, fame, yacht, red carpet, etc. I like that. It means that even if not everything is perfect, and, really, it never is, I can find joy in small things, in moments, in encounters.

So that's my optimistic and philosophical moment for the day.

What makes you happy?